Random title since nothing else was coming to me. It's time for an update about what exactly has happened to me this past month and a half. And yes, this is a positive journal. c:
Last month, exactly one year since my lowest moment, I moved from Montana to Alaska to be with my best friend (and asexual life partner)
And while I did put a lot of faith in it all, I was very scared after nearly losing my life the first time I moved out. I didn't even want to write a journal about it, because I was so freaked out that something would happen and completely shatter what was left of my will to live.
When I arrived on the plane, I looked for bury immediately. and of course couldn't find her since she chose the exact moment I landed to be in the bathroom! Good thing I know her so well, so I was pretty sure that's where she was. XD Anyway, the next day (or rather the same day since I came in at midnight) we went to petco and acquired the mice we'd been planning to get for so long, Carlos and Cecil. And I just laid there, surrounded by two mice, a chinchilla, a cat, and my best friend, and it all felt so unreal.
As time went by, I was still incredibly paranoid that I would somehow do something to end this without warning. I had a very bad panic attack, and several crying fits after bury told me off for something, so sure that I would wake up and everything would be over. But it hasn't, and I really don't think it will. I am relearning to trust, and that there are people who genuinely care about you. It's something I haven't been able to believe for a long time.
And some days it still feels so unreal that I'm actually here, and not just here but happy.
I put on a brave face and got a job in the kitchen at the university, which I haven't started yet since the school year doesn't start til next week.
I now have two more mice, Kevin and Dana. Yes, all these mice are girls named after Night Vale characters.
Bury has plans to buy a ps4 soon, and I have plans to snatch it (when she's not using it of course).
Star Wars 7 comes out next year, need I say more?
All of this, I feel, is progress. While I still have my down days, overall I feel very blessed.
is a total nerd! She has gotten me into too many soul destroying series (such as Attack on Titan and Hannibal) and sits there laughing as she watches them destroy me. So rude. Good thing I got her back by informing her about Silent Hills while she was at work!